The PFO Guide to Gun Safety

Gun Safety

The sun has got his hat on, Hip-hip-hip-hooray! The sun has got his hat on, He's coming out today. Yes, the Sun is out and the letters have been flooding in asking us the dos and don'ts in the gun department.

Here at Pair Force One, we have two Golden Rules when it comes to gun safety:

• Golden Rule Number One: 'Sun's out, guns out'

• Golden Rule Number Two: 'Sun isn't out, guns out'

Think about it - you've been working hard in the gym all day to build and tone your biceps to perfection (probably using the 'Get RIPPED Quick' Training Programme Exercise List) and you want to show off the goods.

So, question: What do you do? Rip off your sleeves and shout 'LOOK AT MY MIGHTY ARMS!'? 

Answer: NO. Of course not. PFO are highly trained professionals and experts in gun safety. Follow our simple guidelines and you too can reveal your sculptured physique to the world - without anyone getting hurt.

1. Practise both engaging and 
disengaging the biceps in the mirror 
for at least 5 minutes per day. This 
will help you to be at one with your 
guns and prevent them going off 
willy nilly.





2. Never raise your guns unless you plan to use them. If you overdo it then people will think your a dick (all is not lost, see rule 3).





3. You are not a dick. No matter how many people say 'You are a dick' when you tense your guns right in their peepers, always remember that they are probably (definitely) just jealous of your amazing guns (notice how they do not have amazing guns).






With shitting great guns comes shitting great responsibility. Embrace this responsibility with your gigantic man-arms and make the most of your improved performance out on the water (rowing, of course, is 11% arms).

Hope this helps,

PFO out.

Training Plan

Training Plan

People are always asking us things like "Pair Force One, how do you guys train?", or "Pair Force One, what should I do to be able to row like you guys?", or "Pair Force One, is it worth investing in the FTSE AIM now or should I wait a couple of months?"

These are all very valid questions which we aim to answer with the publication of our exclusive training plan. N.B. This is not our Get RIPPED Quick plan.

GunDay (Monday)

0600 - 12K outing - pieces
1600 - Weights - focus on biceps
1800 - Core - focus on top four abs

CruiseDay (Tuesday)

0600 - 20K cruised outing - low rate technical, not boring
0900 - Weights - focus on quads
1400 - 12K outing - pieces

WeightsDay (Wednesday)

0900 - Weights - focus on glutes
1000 - Weights - focus on lats
1100 - Weights - focus on biceps
1200 - Weights - focus on lats
1800 - Ergs - 6x 8K rate 21.5

ThergsDay (Thursday)

0500 - Ergs - 2x 2K rate 36
0600 - Core - focus on bottom two abs
1800 - Social - Water drinking competitions

TriDay (Friday)

1000 - Weights - focus on triceps and biceps
1200 - Weights - focus on legs
1600 - Outing - 4K pieces

Saturday (Saturday)

0800 - Outing - 10K pieces, 4K technical front end work
1100 - Weights - focus on lats
1600 - Outing - 16K pieces
2000 - Film - True Blue

Gunday (Sunday - rest day)

1400 - Core - all abs
1600 - Outing - 500m piece


Following this training plan to the letter, and before long you'll accept the call up to GB just for an easier training schedule. We certainly will be until Hexham Royalle. Following this our plan will be reviewed, adjusted and published in preparation for Rio 2016.

#GetBigOrGoHome
#PFOTrainingTips

@PairForceOne

When PFO are not rowing, how do they keep busy?

Recently, many of you have been asking how PFO Men's 1st Pair keep themselves busy when they are not rowing. Ordinarily, this question would be ridiculous as we are never 'not rowing'. However, over the Easter vacation we find ourselves unable to partake in our favourite pastime/future profession. Below is a summary of what each crew member likes to get up to:

Stroke (George Durham):

• Sitting quietly and reflecting.
• Thinking of ways to improve rowing technique.
• Furiously knitting.
• Eating various household items and noting the effects (e.g. 21/02/13 - DVD Player: broken teeth, intense abdominal pain)

Bow (Mike Yorke):

• Talking to friends on anonymous online chatrooms.
• Helping elderly women with their shopping.
• Drawing pictures of things.
• Writing his biography of the Sunderland striker Danny Graham.

Coach (Joel Holford):

• Frequenting local carparks to catch up with friends.
• Visiting outdoor shops and sitting in their display tents until asked to leave.
• Practicing impressions in preparation for his upcoming one man show 'Joel Holford: Man of a Thousand Voices'.
• Doing crunches (up to 35 per day).

'Get RIPPED Quick' Training Programme Exercise List

'Get RIPPED Quick' Exercise List

Exercise 1 - Front-Lat-Squat: Holding a dumbbell in each, raise both hand up to chest level out in front. Move hands outwards until parallel with shoulders. Lower into squatted position, keeping back straight. Rise into standing position, keeping back straight. Lower arms until down by sides. Relax

Exercise 2 - The Slow Spin: Raise arms above head forming a sort of 'V'. Begin to spin slowly in the direction of your choice. After 1 minute, repeat the exercise in the opposite direction to avoid dizziness.





Exercise 3 - Skippy: Find or purchase a rope of suitable length, factoring in height of hair. Hold one end of aforementioned rope in each hand and swing around body, jumping at the correct time in order to avoid sore ankles.



Exercise 4 - Bent over arm flail: Lean forward by an angle of around 60degrees (Pi/3 radians), with a dumbbell in each hand. 'Fling' one hand backwards until it is behind your head an hold. Repeat with the other arm. Lower each arm, one at a time until in the original position.



Be prepared to deal with the following from friends, family and strangers:

- 'Wow! Have you been working out?' *Squeezes biceps*
- 'Buddy, you have to tell me your secret'
- 'Look, in all seriousness, have you been taking something Lance Armstrong stylee?'

To which you should always answer with:

- 'Yes. Squeeze me in other places.'
- 'No' Then run away. They will not catch you if you have been following this routine correctly
- 'I have not. I have simply been taking the necessary steps to improve myself physically and mentally and have been doing this clean'

What would Jesus think of Pair Force One?

Here at PFOHQ (Pair Force One HQ (Headquarters)) we feel a real affinity with the J-man. He was a pretty special guy, as are we. What we would really like to know is - what would Jesus think of PFO and in particular, its flagship crew - the Men's 1st Pair?

Recently, the MFP (Men's 1st Pair) have been dedicating 5% of training towards prayer in order to boost our performance, yet the changes to erg times have been minimal at best. This has lead PFO's Spirituality Officer (previously PFO Chaplain) George Durham to cancel our contract with Christianity.

PFO are now looking for a new official religious sponsor for the Men's 1st Pair. I know this won't be easy but Sikh and we will find.

PFO out.

Twitter

You can now follow us on Twitter @PairForceOne for #trainingtips and updates.

Get RIPPED Quick

Get RIPPED Quick

An easy 10 step programme guaranteed to change your life*

Step 1: Get your head in the zone.

Step 2: GET YOUR HEAD IN THE ZONE!!!

Step 3: Gather a collection of motivational quotes, such as 'If you're going through hell, keep going' - Winston Churchill.

Step 4: Adequate stretching - I'm talking legs and arms here people.

Step 5: Draw the curtains - No-one is going to want to see this.

Step 6: Repeat steps 1 and 2.

Step 7: Begin 'Get RIPPED Quick' exercise list*, one minute per exercise to start with.

Step 8: Warm down - this is an often overlooked yet vital step if you want to avoid soreness and prevent injury.

Step 9: Close your eyes and visualise the results.

Step 10: Open your eyes. RESULTS!

*'Get RIPPED Quick' exercise list to follow.
*We can not guarantee that the 'Get RIPPED Quick' training programme will change your life.

Who we are

Pair Force One is an elite rowing squad, emerging phoenix-like from the ashes of UCBC. Born in 2013, it currently consists of President - Mike York, Men's Captain - George Durham, and Head Coach/Social Secretary - Joel Holford. Our aim is quite simply to row at a preposterously high level and if we break any speed limits along the way we can only apologise. Pair Force One out.